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So maybe your mind wants a loyal, caring love,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but you have been unknowingly seeking something else to try to heal past suffering. What can you do about this?
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1. Home in on the lessons you have been learning from your less-than-loyal relationship. Whom does your last relationship (or relationships) remind you of? How did you handle the hurt you felt as a child? How have you handled the hurt as an adult? If you could “do over” your last relationship,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what would you do differently?
4,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Check inside to see if you’re looking to be right about how relationships are untrustworthy or not good enough. We often try to be right to protect ourselves from future hurt at the expense of current happiness,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Being right can come at the expense of intimacy.
5. Make sure you are like the person you want to attract. If you have ever been uncaring or disloyal,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], don’t pretend to be “holier than thou.” Admit your trespasses to yourself and make amends to anyone you have hurt or betrayed. This clearing of your slate will invite a new, higher-level relationship.
A client wrote to me:
Dear Jane,
2. Don’t take other people’s behaviors personally. They’re doing what they do from their own past programming, including their self-judgments, fears,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and limiting beliefs. (Just like you.) If a partner betrays your confidence,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for example, it is something in him/her that would allow for that. The less you personalize,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the less you will feel victimized.
By Jane Straus
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3. Don’t ignore signs and indicators. If you meet someone who tells you that they’ve cheated on a relationship and you think it will be different with you, it may be that you have an unconscious need to learn some painful lessons. If you want a conscious relationship, you have to work to be conscious yourself. Ask more questions. Check inside if you really feel trusting. Pay attention to your intuition.
Sometimes we choose our relationships for reasons we’re not aware of consciously. For example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], do you find that you have chosen a partner who is in some way like one of your parents? This can be great if you felt loved and nurtured. But if you didn’t always feel that growing up, you may still pick someone who unconsciously reminds you of that parent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not because you are masochistic, but because your spirit is trying to find someone now to help heal your past.
Although I am a loyal,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], caring person, I can hardly find a bird of the same feather to flock with. What can I do besides pray?
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Email marketing is an effective form of online promotion which is used for encouraging interaction in between the customers and merchant. It is a unique means of enhancing and strengthening the relationship of merchant and a customer. Many advertisers have started tapping the potential of this medium in order to retain the customers,hollister, fetch new clients and encourage client loyalty. You can use this as a means of communication in between a customer and yourself. In other words,mulberry, it can help you in bridging up the gap between a client and marketer.
Advantage with the email marketing is that it does not allow any intermediary in between a potential client and a marketer. A marketer creates a list of potential customers who may get interested in the mails. This list cannot be created just by collecting the mail addresses from many different servers or sources. Collect mail addresses from reliable and popular servers. You can use email generator tools for the purpose of collection of authentic mails. A person can also display polling questions on a company website. By the side of a polling question,abercrombie, you can post options for subscribing to a newsletter. Those clients who do show interest in receiving such newsletters can be added in the list of mail campaign. It is called an opt-in list and such kind of promotion is called permission marketing. Such kind of promotion is essential as you face less chances of being spammed. Spamming is one of the major challenges faced by a marketer. One step to avoid this is to use permission based marketing so that your mails are not rejected by a customer. If you have more number of mails getting rejected,ray ban, the search engines report your online presence as unsolicited or Spam. Create a message that includes fewer words that imply ‘sale’ meaning. Send a copy of the mails and keep a track of the responses by clients. This helps you in analyzing the effectiveness of a mail campaign.
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Phospholipids are essential molecules that are found in cellular membranes. A lining called the cell membrane surrounds each brain cell. Without a healthy cell membrane, we cannot have optimum memory and mental function.
However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I like to do my research too, and after talks with extremely reliable sources, I can safely say this products works. So, if you are really interested in enhancing your brain performance, and achieving more, faster, go for it.
Skeptics would probably be quick at accusing me of experiencing the placebo effect, but if belief helps something work better I highly recommend you believe.
This is why I like to supplement with Brain Talk; a potent formula of phospholipids that helps your brain to absorb and process information more effectively and efficiently,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
By Anna Aparicio NLP/Hypnosis Specialist Coach
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There are certainly a few factors to blame for less than desirable brain function, amongst which are lack of natural light,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], bad sleep patterns, stress, lack of exercise and an unhealthy diet. Addressing one or more of these will definitely help your brain operate more effectively.
Do you find it hard to focus or concentrate on the task at hand,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
And there is also a funny little word that you may have not heard of before, that could help turn things around for you:
Do you tend to over analyze things or get mood swings for no apparent reason?
However, since most people’s nutritional and lifestyle habits fall way short of expectations, and taking into account the low quality of most foods available today, I wouldn’t rely solely on food to provide you with the necessary phospholipid intake.
Since they help form the cell membrane of the trillions of cells in the body, it makes sense that they would have influence on a number of organs and tissues, including the heart, blood cells and the immune system,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and also the brain.
So many people share these symptoms that they seem to have been accepted as normal in our lives. But trust me, they are not! You shouldn’t and don’t have to feel confused about things, lack clarity or direction, or underperform as a result of lack of focus.
Like omega-3 fatty acids, they are vital for optimal brain health. They help brain cells communicate and influence how well receptors function. Phospholipids are found in high concentrations in soy, eggs, fish eggs, and the brain tissue of animals. There may actually be a biochemical rational for the folk wisdom that says eating brain makes you smarter, but I would not recommend anything I wouldn’t do myself, and eating animal brain is way down on my list of to do’s!
A lot of my clients do. Housewives,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], students, successful business people, young professionals… men and women of all ages and backgrounds experience a lot of the above only too often.
I’ve been taking Brain Talk every day before my breakfast for the past couple of months and I am extremely impressed at what it is doing for me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. And some of my clients have reported great things too,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
This completely natural supplement contains the main phospholipids vital for brain function. It claims to stimulate and boost the communication between brain cells, boosts cognitive functions such as memory, learning and concentration, and helps improve and elevate mood and resistance to mental stress. Apparently it even helps promote healthy skin by preventing wrinkle formation. And if you, like me, are a woman in your late thirties, I am sure you'll appreciate that too!
Phospholipids, as the name implies, are made of the combination of lipids (fats) and the mineral phosphorus, and play several roles in the brain. They not only determine which minerals and nutrients go in and out of the cell, but also influence communication between brain cells by influencing the shape of receptors and promoting the growth of dendrites.
Do you ever get brain fog,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], can’t think clearly or retain information?
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Phospholipids help support healthy memory and mood, mental clarity,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], concentration,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], alertness and focus
Phospholipids.
Two important phospholipids are phosphatidylcholine (lecithin) and phosphatidylserine. And a cell in the human body cannot function normally without these two crucial phospholipids!
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Pigeons are a fact of life in big cities such as London. You may think they are just wandering around and minding their own business,louboutin, but did you know that they can actually cause great damage to buildings? When they foul on buildings,louboutin, not only does it deface the aesthetic look,hollister, but it can also cause physical damage. Uric acid can be found in a feral pigeon’s faeces which is corrosive to the exterior of a building. In addition,abercormbie, they can cause potential health issues as their fouling also carries various diseases such as Salmonella bacteria and Ornithosis,louboutin pas cher, which is a viral disease similar to “flu”.
Their nests often contain various insects and mites which can then migrate to other parts of a building,abercrombie, potentially causing other pest problems in these places as well.For these reasons, it is important to practice pigeon pest control on any affected areas. Humane methods of pigeon proofing are offered by a number of pest control businesses in London. These include installing netting,louboutin pas cher, fine metal spikes or sprung wires onto the affected area. All of these methods force pigeons to look elsewhere for a landing spot, by preventing them from landing on the area in question.
Most pest control businesses in London will first need to visit the area in question in order to ascertain the level of the pest problem and conclude which method of pigeon pest control would be better suited to resolve the issue.The feral pigeon is derived from domestic pigeons which have returned to the wild. The Rock dove is the ancestor of domestic pigeons and these birds build their homes on sea-cliffs and mountains. Because of this,louboutin pas cher, feral pigeons are often found perching on the ledge of a tall building.
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They are completely comfortable with the busy comings and goings of everyday life and will happily build their nests in even the busiest of areas. Because of this, simply attempting to shoo them away will not resolve a pigeon problem. Appropriate pigeon proofing methods must be put into place. Without them,louboutin, the problem will continue and maybe even grow as,michael kors outlet, with a constant food supply, feral pigeons can breed all year round.A good pest control firm in London will eradicate your pigeon problem in a humane manner. Some also offer a service whereby they will completely clean and remove any pigeon fowling that has defaced the area in question.
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“We meet the fire at its weak points,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], knocking it out,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not giving it a chance. We know the fire and use the knowledge of its behavior patterns to snuff it out. We are tough and do not waste our strength. We plan our tactics and anticipate the fire’s moves. We use proven tactics and avoid bad ones. We engage the fire when we know we will prevail over the fire. We do not repeat the mistakes of other encounters.”
“Mission and vision statements should be directed not only to the business community but to any human enterprise, public or private, in search of a clearer understanding of the reasons for its existence. Thus Socrates-“The unexamined life is not worth living.” says Dr. Curtis Brooks, Professor of Business Ethics, Old Dominion University.
As Susan Oslin,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], owner of MMM Creative, a graphic web and multimedia design firm, said after completing her mission statement: “It was a revelation. When I was done I was bubbling with joy and pride about my business and its direction. I was so excited about what I had accomplished with the process I proceeded to share it with everyone close to me.”
Everywhere you turn today there are businesses,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], schools and even churches looking seriously at their “mission” in their chosen fields and the vision of success they foresee. People are also inundated in some form with the mission statements of new products,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], services, entrepreneurs and politicians. Also,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], many colleges are requiring applicants to submit their personal mission statement and vision statement.
Leadership and better character definition are the inevitable results:
“It is about identifying your purpose in the present and your focus for your desired future. It is a worthwhile effort that will help you with defining the “why” of you – what you are about and where you want to go - in a way that your family, college,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], business or clients can easily understand” writes Don Midgett, author of Mission and Vision Statements: Your Path to a Successful Business Future. “The real pay off is in the freedom that develops because of this clarification process. It becomes a powerful tool for success in any chosen use.”
By Don Midgett
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It becomes evident that mission and vision statements help guide us in important and everyday decisions whether we are dealing with a product, service or institution. Equally important to most is that your mission and vision statements reflect the character of the person one is dealing with.
Be sure your mission and vision statements reflect your leadership and character,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], whether it be applied to your personal life or your professional life. For additional information on the importance of mission and vision statements to leadership and for tools to help anyone better understand mission and vision statements and how to use them effectively, go to now.
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Good decision making is another by- product of a well defined personal mission statement and vision statement,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. An example is this personal firefighter mission statement:
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Direct Business: If being an affiliate marketer or does not suit you, you can become a direct entrepreneur selling your very own product or services. This of course requires that you do all the work,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], get the product or services, write a sales letter,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], build a website and promote it. Instead of being an affiliate marketer, you can get affiliates to promote your website for you by searching opportunities for entrepreneurs. The advantage here is that you earn 100% commissions from purchases that come from you promotional efforts.
Affiliate online business: This is one of the most popular type of internet business that is available online. It involves making money from other people’s effort so to speak. Businesses design a product or services, complete all that is required to sell it and offers to a prospective online business entrepreneurs to promote and possibly share in the commission. This is a simple explanation of how affiliate online business works. Usually the company that offers affiliate opportunities does this as a promotional strategy; it is very effective. The incentives is to offer mouth watering commission for their affiliate and necessary tools like a sales letter link bearing the product/services, promotional strategies and other resources.
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Create informational based website: Another legit home based online business is to create a website that teaches people how to go about doing things online. To star this business,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], pick a valuable niche that is highly searched for. Conduct a keyword campaign; create a content rich website around the keywords. Then start writing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your niche could be information about health related issues, money making tips,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], etc. These are three wide varieties of online money making opportunities available that you can choose from and start earning money.
Are you looking for a lucrative at home money making opportunities you can start within a short time? Maybe you don’t know where to start from, or maybe you have read through the barrage of information online and instead of getting some answers you are overwhelmed, what do you do? What to do is as simple as acquiring knowledge and discarding the ridiculous myth you must have picked up from very numerous sources. These ridiculous myths like making money overnight, can ensnare you by building a lazy man mentality that will rather lazy away than to work hard for a good return. It is a fact that you can make great income at the tune of 5 zeros or more monthly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], yearly online but you need to put in your best, financially,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], physically and mentally. The good thing about running an online business from home is that it takes a one time input of your best in terms of time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], finance, strength, etc.,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to get established,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and thereafter a less intensive updating efforts that provides extra time for other interests like building other source of income. Would you want to know the 3 types of genuine business you can do online?
By Larry ellner
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The advantage of affiliate marketing is that you get to partake in someone else’s effort without having to spend or partake in the cost of the business. It is kind of like a franchise business and it is very lucrative. There are different types of affiliate business,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the CPA, CPL, adsense, etc.
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In order to answer these questions, you know what you need? Yes, arithmetic, some very elementary algebra, and a little geometry. No need for advanced mathematics.
The questions are deliberate to find out if you have a basic knowledge of elementary mathematics,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and if you have the skill to explanation obviously.
a. (2, 3) or (3, 2)
b. (25/2, 3) or (3, 2)
c. (2, 25/2) or (3, 2/3)
d. (1, 3) or (2, 2/3)
Each of us have some unique talent given by god but success comes to only those who take advantage of the full measure of their ability. This concept will helpful in GRE too. Most tests college students take are straightforward achievements tests. They attempt to find out how much you have learned, usually in a specific subject,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and how well you can apply that information. Without emphasizing memorized data, the GRE general test attempts to measure verbal, quantitative, and analytical writing skills that you have acquired over the years both in and out of school.
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3. What is the value of following expression?
[1/(22-1)] + [1/(42 – 1)] + [ 1/ (62 – 1)] + ……………….. + [1/(202 – 1)]
a. 9/19
b. 10/10
c. 10/21
d,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. 11/21
Examples:
The quantitative section consists of 28 questions. Out of twenty eight questions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], fourteen of quantitative comparison questions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ten discrete quantitative or standard multiple choice questions, and four data interpretation questions. Here are some examples will see about Quantitative comparison and multiple choice altogether. For more practice of such problems, you can attempt GRE Math Questions and GRE Quantitative Reasoning.
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b. The quantity of column B is greater.
c. The two quantities are equals.
d. The relationship cannot be determined from the given information,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
1. Line k goes through (1, 1) and (5, 2). Line m is perpendicular to k.
Column A: The slope of line k
Column B: The slope of line m
2. The first term of an arithmetic progression (A,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].P) is the common ratio of a geometric progression (G.P,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].). The first term of the geometric progression is the common difference of the arithmetic progression. The sum of the first ten terms of an A.P. is 155 and the sun of the first two terms of the G.P. is 9. Find the first terms of the A.P. and the G.P.
If you haven’t done any mathematics before long, go through the math review in any GRE book before attempting the model Tests, and surely before registering to take the GRE. If you feel that your math skills are still not bad,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can try Diagnostics Test first,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and then read only those sections of the math review relating to those topics that gave you trouble.
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When I ask an Agent the question, “Do you contact all of the Web leads you generate?” Most Agents tell me that they do not.
Do you follow up on all the ad calls and sign call leads you generate?
Do you follow up on all your open house leads,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
Do you always have leads that you don’t contact or follow up?
After you call a lead once,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you don’t reach them, do you keep trying? And if you do reach them do you stay in touch if they don’t convert immediately?
These are simple questions and the habit of contacting the leads you generate is a simple one. Most Agents do not have this habit and it is one of most limiting barriers to their success. Creating a lead contact habit has a profound effect on your production, income, confidence, and your self esteem.
Success Hours
The ideal way to build the habit of contacting and following up on your leads is to set aside an hour each day to call your leads. We call these your “Success Hours.”
There is an easy way to schedule this. Everyone checks their e-mail early in the day. Plan to do lead contact and lead follow up before you open your e-mails. Open your contact management software, take out your box of index cards, or gather all the scraps of paper with your leads on them. Make the calls. Note the results. Prompt yourself on your calendar to make the follow up calls. Use your Success Hours to both make contact with your leads and to manage the system you have for retaining the leads.
If you take this time at least three days a week, you will take complete control over your lead contact and follow up. Your production will rise along with your confidence and self esteem.
Some Agents just aren’t built to be that structured. No problem,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can contact leads and follow up randomly throughout the day as long as the result is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that each week you derive the number of appointments you need to reach your exceptional goals. Whatever system you choose stick with it until it becomes a habit and part of your everyday responsibilities.
You may notice that I keep referring to your exceptional goals. This is a term we use with our coaching clients. We offer a free hour of coaching to introduce our program in which we set these goals with you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], reduce them to the number of appointments you need and we do a thorough analysis of the strengths and weaknesses of your entire business.
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Imperfection is Perfect
It is not necessary to follow up on all of the leads you generate. In fact it may be a mistake to do so. You can spend too much time chasing all the leads at the expense of quality time spent on the high potential leads,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. This is just one of the philosophies that make our coaching program so unique to others.
With our coaching clients we identify how many initial appointments with buyers and sellers they need each week to achieve their exceptional goal. With over a decade of one on one work with Agents and accurate data from that work, we have discovered that an average Agent after a year in the business is successful with at least fifty percent of the clients with whom they have an initial appointment.
So,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], two appointments per week with new clients just forty weeks out of the year yield eighty appointments and at least forty sales per year. For most Agents forty sales is a significant increase in their production. These numbers and calculations are easily found kept current within our online charts exclusive to our coaching clients.
Here is the point,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Let’s say you sold four million in production last year and you calculate that two initial appointments per week take you to an exceptional goal of seven million dollars. You don’t have to be perfect in your lead contact and follow up to achieve the seven million. You only need to be good enough with lead contact and follow up to make two appointments each week.
So, it is not necessary to follow up on all the leads that you generate. Only to follow up on enough of the leads to generate the number of appointments that will result in your exceptional goals.
Some people say, “Rich,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it’s never enough. I want to follow up on all of them and do as much as I can.” We don’t agree. We don’t coach this. We want you to know what amount of effort will take you to your highest goals this year. Then take satisfaction in that. Pat yourself on the back. Enjoy your life. Once you are able to generate that level of leads and sales for this year, next year you will be able to more easily take it to the next level.
Constantly going for everything, all the time is both unrealistic and causes breakdowns in service,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], breakdowns in attitude,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and breakdowns in consistency. We believe in balancing work and quality of life and these systems will enable you to increase your production while maintaining the life you want.
Definition
This is the process by which you consistently contact the leads that you generate.
By Rich Levin
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The Canadian automotive industry is experiencing a shortage of qualified workers. If you love cars and are interested in automotive careers, here are ten auto careers to consider.

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Reducing weight is such a challenging job. It requires a lot of dedication and disciplined efforts to get rid of the extra pounds hanging around your body. Though,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the marketplace is filled with number of medicines,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], solutions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], equipment and techniques that bet over reducing your body weight and offering you with slim and well-shaped body. But getting carried away by the lucrative advertisements is not the only idea to proceed. One has to be logical and ardent enough to solve the excessive weight problems. Then only he or she can choose the right method and deal with the issue of excessive fat.
For being a logical candidate for reducing weight,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], one has to be aware of the major reasons that cause weight increase in different parts of human body. Once the reasons are identified then the right Weight loss method can be picked amongst the number of techniques and weight reduction ideas served in the marketplace. Looking at the top factors causing excessive fat to human body include improper dieting,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], consumption of junk & fatty food items,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], hectic work schedule thus no time for exercise or walk and harmful ingredients in the daily food items. In addition to that some people may experience heavy weight situation in their bodies due to any side effects of some medicine or some kind of ailment.
By Dr,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Lederman
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it is not a thing to be waited for

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The Canadian automotive industry is experiencing a shortage of qualified workers. If you love cars and are interested in automotive careers, here are ten auto careers to consider.

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2003 was the year of the foreign investor: foreigners bought W14 trillion worth of Korean stock alone,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and the Korean composite stock index hit 800 points.
Experts are saying that this year as well,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], foreigners will be a major purchasing bloc on the Korean stock market. Bak Yun-su of LG Investment & Securities said a weak dollar policy would lead funds to flow towards non-dollar assets, and that the dollar would be one more reason for foreigners to be in the mood to buy on the domestic market.
The low interest atmosphere is expected to continue despite the possibility of higher rates, and expectations that the economic recovery and corporate performance will continue to improve will,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], according to some observers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], have a positive influence on the stock market.
Employees of a stock brokerage toss order pads to celebrate the closure of the stock market for 2003 in Yeoido,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Seoul on Tuesday. The Korea Composite Stock Price Index climbed by 18.21 points to close at 810.71 that day. The index rose by 27.64 percent compared with its stance at the beginning of this year,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], on the back of a strong foreign buying.
Starting in the second half of the year,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], however, the momentum from a better business climate and corporate performance will begin to slow, and experts are saying that the intensity with which foreign investors purchase stock will begin to diminish.
"The global economy is in recovery. This will make the Asian stock market less attractive,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], since it reacts early and sensitively to recoveries," said Jeong Tae-uk of Hyundai Securities. "The fact that the shares preferred by foreign investors have largely been bought up already will also be a burden for them."
The experts also predicted that individual investors would be in more of a position to buy than in 2003. The slower real estate market, resulting from strong government policies and the rise in interest rates, will make bond investments less attractive,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], making stocks relatively more prominent.
"The economy is picking up thanks to continuously strong imports throughout 2003, and domestic consumption will improve somewhat in the first quarter of this year," said Kim Yeong-ik, of the Daishin Economic Research Institute. "When people feel things getting better,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], individuals will start actively participating in the stock market."
Jeong disagreed with this prediction,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], saying that money from individual investors isn't moving to the market yet. "The speed with which this happens will be gradual."
Pension funds and other domestic institutional investors can be expected to be more active on the market in 2004. "The National Pension is growing, and will be investing around W1 trillion more than it did last year," says Jo Hong-nae of Donwon Securities. "Also, the introduction of corporate pensions will play favorably on the market." (Song Dong-hun,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], [link widoczny dla zalogowanych])Related articles:

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Kim said that the idea was embraced enthusiastically by other friends and by an inauguration ceremony, they had accumulated more than W1 million. Kim said the money will be sent every year to an international organization to help children in need.

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The government is launching a special project to enhance the nation's traffic environment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], aimed at reducing road deaths as well as unnecessary expenses arising from congestion.Dubbed "The Pan-national Traffic Technology Development Project,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," the Ministry of Construction and Transportation said Friday a total of W300 billion,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], about US$250 million,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which includes private funding,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], will be invested to advancing 11 core technologies in five areas of development.
They include plans to enhance traffic management,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], boost public transportation and promote the country into a logistics hub in Northeast Asia,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], while introducing new technologies to establish automated railway operations and make aviation services and airport facilities more efficient.
Once the project is completed in 2007,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the ministry hopes to pare down logistics expenses by 10 percent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], reduce the rate of traffic accidents by 30 percent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and trim the country's energy consumption level by 20 to 30 percent.
(Arirang TV)Related articles:

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Kim said that the idea was embraced enthusiastically by other friends and by an inauguration ceremony, they had accumulated more than W1 million. Kim said the money will be sent every year to an international organization to help children in need.

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3. Physical abuse: hitting, whipping, slapping, kicking or sexual abuse of a child.
4. Bio-parents have authority to discipline and guide,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not a stepparent, boyfriend or girlfriend.
Join “Safe Kids Now MAILING LIST" and learn what YOU can do to keep children safe! www,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].safekidsnow.com
1. 50% of marriages end in divorce which cuts a child’s support system in half – 1 in 4 women in abusive relationships.
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:
17. Violent movies, video games and TV reinforce the bully/victim behavior for disconnected youth. Sex and violence used to degrade and control women.
LOSS OF FAMILY
9. A child’s spirit: If adults fail to teach children about their awesome inner power and potential, children may not value themselves or others.
LOSS OF COMMUNITY
15. The loss of neighborhood support creates more social isolation for families. Youth do not see neighbors as role models, mentors or problem solvers working together to keep their neighborhood safe for everyone.
18. Easy access to drugs (escape from reality) and guns (power tool for the disenfranchised).
6. Adults, who don’t listen, send a message…”I don’t care.” Children become frustrated, lack self-esteem and may become socially isolated.
19. The religious community has lost influence with many of today’s families due to scandals, corruption and the sexual abuse of children.
Every bully, delinquent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], truant,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], abuse victim,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], drug dealer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], gang member, and child struggling to grow up with drugs or domestic violence lives in somebody’s neighborhood.
7. Neglect and abuse creates anger. Anger prevents emotional growth and a lack of self-awareness, which puts youth at risk.
12. Bullies and “Pincushion kids” (victims) lack strong role models and a sense of security. Strong “centered” adults listen and stay calm when disciplining and guiding children,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
11. Pincushion kids (victims) are emotionally “off-center” with a wounded spirit: Sensitive children feel inadequate,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], suffer in silence and become easy targets. Bullies and victims are often attracted to each other.
8. Parents,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], who can’t say NO,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], will experience resentment, anger and disrespect. You taught your child to be selfish and self-absorbed!
14. Youth, unable to cope or “fit in,” become disconnected from family, friends and feel alone. They are likely candidates to dropout of school, join gangs or become addicted to drugs. Some may even runaway and become homeless.
20. Religion, the foundation of a free society, has neglected to reach out and “Love thy Neighbor.” Working together…the religious community has the power to bring neighbors together, become role models of youth and create peaceful communities.
16. Gangs, drugs and violence become a life style for alienated youth. Gangs use fear to take over neighborhoods and become role models for children. Rival gangs kill for control. (Primitive ego-driven tribal behavior)
13. Children lacking spiritual values and support do not discover a healthy balance between ego and spirit. Peers become their teachers as they experiment with drugs, alcohol, sex or other self-destructive behaviors.
10. Bullies are emotionally “off-center” with a wounded spirit: This child uses intimidation and fear to gain power and control over others… and to hide their pain.
By Stephanie L. Mann, Safety Consultant
See all Articles by Stephanie MannSee Stephanie Mann's Expert PageGet Updates on ParentingGet Updates on Stephanie Mann Average: 2 Your rating: None Average: 2 (4 votes) Tweet
2. Adult bullies: Mental abuse with put downs, insults, belittling, cursing, screaming and controlling without listening or guiding.
5. Overly emotional women (crying,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], pleading, begging) lose their authority with teens, especially boys.
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When it comes to the human body, the heart charka influences our ability to love unconditionally. When past trauma has affected our lives and we have been unable to process the feelings associated to old wounds, our Heart Charkas shut down.

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Now that you understand a little more about how to do your 30 second research, we need to explore how to use that information to effectively to make a good connection.
Author's Bio:
I have witnessed some amazing conversations between two people who both understand this concept, and they each speak in the language of their audience. This way both people are maximising their understanding of the other, and truly making a memorable connection.
Each person we meet has a mode in which they operate dominantly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. There are three main senses we use to interact:
We observe in great detail everything that we can about our audience.
To make a strong verbal connection we must understand as much as possible about our audience. I.e. the other person, or people we want to connect with.
This is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], of course, unnecessary for short interaction with strangers. A chance encounter such as an “excuse me” incident, or asking someone directions or the time, does not need you to understand your audience. However, an excellent communicator would ensure that the respect we discussed above is honoured.
It is much easier when we know our audience well, such as family members,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], friends, work colleagues with whom we interact on a daily basis etc. However, we also need to learn how to do some 30 second research when we meet someone for the first time. If we really want to connect with them, and have our message understood. This is a great skill to have. Once practised, it becomes automatic and happens at a sub-conscious level.
A lot of stress and angst can be removed from our lives if we can learn to effectively communicate.
If you have the chance to be in the physical space of the person, then look around:
What can you see to give you information for your quick research?
Is the space filled with interesting things,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Visual people usually need things to look at to occupy their mind.
Is it filled with family photos? Kinaesthetic people like to have familiar warmth nearby.
Is it lacking a personal touch, or filled with gadgets?
?
For example; auditory people like phones, recording devices,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], speakers, music, and are less likely to notice bare walls.
When you learn to use this 30 second research technique with ease, you will be amazed at how much more effective all your communication will be. You will enjoy much more meaningful relationships on many layers, and waste less time feeling unheard and frustrated.
I am very strongly visual, almost an extreme case, yet I have taught myself to communicate at all three levels. Now, I do not say that I am perfect at this, but every time my communication screws up, I know I missed the chance, because I did not take the time to communicate in the mode of my audience.
If you determine that your audience is visual,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then you need to communicate with them in ‘visual’ terms.
This can be difficult if you are, for example, strongly kinaesthetic, but with practice you can.
On every team, and in every family unit, and with every group of friends or colleagues there will be a lot of misunderstanding just because of this simple neurolinguistic programming. Often this misunderstanding can be silent, so no one is aware that one,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or even a few, people got a completely different idea from what was said.
When we meet someone we are given a short time in which to reinforce the physical impression we made, by using good communication skills. We can ensure our audience feels at ease immediately, or we can create an environment of uncertainty which of course is far less effective.
On a business level this will enhance your chances of success!
Sometimes two people can be arguing about the same thing, but neither can express their ideas in a way that is comprehensible to the other. This is due to the different communication modalities. This is a shame of course, as ill feelings and frustration can arise when there is no need, they are actually in agreement. They just do not recognise it.
Most people use all three modes, in a variety of mixes per person, however each of us is usually dominant in one of the senses.
So, what do we do with this critical 30 seconds?
Once you have this knowledge, it is to your advantage to make use of it for effective communication. It is never the other party’s responsibility; remember it is you that wishes to convey a message.
Operational Senses ( Modalities)
When you shake hands, a visual person will probably make eye contact immediately.
An auditory person is likely to spend some seconds ensuring the hands connect, and then make shorter eye contact.
A kinaesthetic person may try and avoid your eyes altogether.
The handshake itself should not be considered for this purpose, the type of handshake is affected by cultural background, customs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], health and confidence.
This is the second in a series of articles to help you improve your communication skills and establish stronger relationships at all levels.
If you are a sales person take note, this is very useful knowledge for you, if you want to enjoy success and repeat business
A visual person will have locked onto your eyes and face,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
None of this is foolproof, but my research over about 30 years, has demonstrated it is a fast, and reasonably accurate way to establish how best to connect with someone.
In part three, we will look at ways to connect with each modality, however remember some people have a very even modality balance ( e.g. 40% -30% -30%) so they will have influences of all three. In this instance seek a quick answer on the strongest modality and work to that.
Visual Sense (Seeing)
Auditory Sense (Listening)
Kinaesthetic Sense (Feelings)
The quality of the ‘connection’ you make, will automatically set the level of communication you are able to engage them in. Just like a telephone call, if the connection is poor good conversation, communication or even the simple passing of information is difficult. It is the same in the physical space, but the difference is you are the medium not a complex array of plastic and fibre! Even if your audience has great difficulty in communicating, you can be the conduit, and let’s clearly understand that it is in your interest not to waste your time (your life) communicating with people who do not hear you, or remember your message.
For example the colleague sitting next to me is probably around 50% visual, 30% auditory and 20% kinaesthetic. This means when I communicate with him, I use as many visual words as possible, draw pictures of what I mean both literally and figuratively, and talk things through usually repeating the message to reinforce it. I use less ‘feeling’ words. This way he hears my message, and sees my meaning quite clearly.
This is not so difficult, because I am also very visual.
By Terrie Anderson
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When we meet someone, we need to listen very carefully to how they express themselves in the first few minutes. Listen for things they say that represent feelings, visual or auditory signals for their primary modality.
Do they say things like ‘I feel’ or ‘I see’?
Where are they looking when they talk to you?
However another colleague on my team is probably about 70% kinaesthetic, 20% visual and 10% auditory. This is kind of the opposite end, of the communication scale, from me. So I have to express everything a little differently when I speak to him.
He does not hear my message easily, and he does not see my meaning, he needs to ‘feel’ my meaning. This is difficult,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because I am lower on the kinaesthetic scale, so I have to use a mode of communication in which I am weak. Some other team members get into conflict, or shut down, with this young man because they do not understand how to connect with him.
An auditory person will be focussed on listening and not hearing. They may be flicking their eyes around your facial perimeter, the ceiling,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and the walls – they may notice what is happening around you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but still be very aware what you said.
A kinaesthetic person will be looking usually down, at the floor, the table, or a fixed space nearby your head – but rarely makes eye contact for more than a second or so.
To ensure your audience feels at ease, we need to be sure that we can connect with them in an impactful and positively memorable way. We have around 30 critical seconds in which we can do some fast research, so that we can better connect immediately.
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When it comes to the human body, the heart charka influences our ability to love unconditionally. When past trauma has affected our lives and we have been unable to process the feelings associated to old wounds, our Heart Charkas shut down.

iqsaianad

When my marriage ended, in an attempt to understand what was happening in my world, I sought counselling. Which lead to a course on Self-Esteem and Assertive Communication. That initial step changed my life. As I integrated techniques to effectively communicate, I came to understand that in most cases it was also about NOT LISTENING.
We tend to ONLY HEAR what WE WANT to hear. Added to this mix of not being able to hear what is actually being said, are suppressed emotions, bubbling to the surface for release. Except if this release work is not done,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], these disowned emotions begin to directing our communication. Then we only hear what we think we hear based on our childhood or adult wounding.
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
In almost every case, if a person has placed blame at your door, then there is some element of truth in the matter. It is indeed difficult to own this stuff. However, if we can accept equal responsibility for the co-creation of the experience we are at least at the start of a great healing for ourselves.
Unfortunately, this is when most arguments begin to escalate. How do we put a halt to this before it gets out of hand and the interaction ends in abusive behaviour or at the very least damages the relationship beyond repair?
Relationships are our greatest tool for self-healing.
For most of my young life I had been told that I had said certain things,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which I did not remember saying. This resulted in some very painful experiences for me with my family. I finally decided I could no longer stand this and moved right away from them. It puzzled me as to why this happened but found that provided I kept my distance from them; we managed to have a half-way normal relationship. However, it did not give me what I needed, which was a close loving relationship with my family
To actually hear what another person is actually saying and not what we THINK they are saying requires being emotionally clear. This however, is not easy to achieve unless you a conscious of what you are feel and can recognise when you are out of balance and more reactive than usual. For relationships to be calm and easy it is important to be observant and brutally honest about what is actually taking place in the relationships. If the waters are not smooth you can be sure that something is bubbling up to the surface in one or both. Stop,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], observe, listen and be honest. Nothing is gained by moving into judgement or justification. What happens in most cases is that when there is a disagreement between two people, the first thing we do is run to another person.
By Jan-Marie Brooke
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Personal responsibility needs to come from within. We can lead by example, not by demanding,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], expecting or telling another person where they are going wrong. The best thing anyone can do is to detach and own what aspect is within and heal that aspect. The more this happens the clearer you become – which means you will have fewer dramas and misunderstandings. Emotional release is the key to balanced and harmonious relationships.
The communication between two people then consists of one person coming from a victim mentality and the other person either demonstrating Persecutor or Rescuer behaviours. Unfortunately, what generally happens is that one or both will get into BLAME.
When we are confronted by some intense interaction,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it can be quite confronting to accept that maybe we are egotistical or arrogant. Or that maybe our behaviour has been abusive in some way. The point is, we all do this to some degree. It is not that we are bad people - we are human. To be human is to have emotions. What we DO NEED to embrace is – some for of emotional stress release and the FREEDOM to BE program is brilliant for this.
To justify that we really are an ‘Okay Person’ and what the other person has said is not true. This is okay provided that the people you are speaking to can be detached and will not further inflame the issue.
Rescuer/Victim/Persecutor which forms a revolving triangle
When a 3rd party is invited into a disagreement between two or more people,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is important to take note of the exact words. Write these down if necessary. Then one by one, take those words and ask the person, where they think they are expressing this in their conversation. Listen to see if there are words of blame and judgement. Ask, if the person is prepared to accept at least part of the responsibility for the disagreement. If they are not,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then what is happening is that the person is in denial about the real issue and nothing will be gained by further discussion on the issue at this point.
Instead, what happens is that we perpetrate this energy of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer. It is a no win situation.
Calmly think through what has just occurred. Ask yourself what is being mirrored back to me from this interaction?
As we collect these wounds from childhood to adulthood and do not process them, they collect into the subconscious. From time to time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a particular emotion will begin to bubble up to the surface,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], attempting to get your attention. These emotions are stressful and can create great frustration and pain. That anger and grief bursts forth in our communications and is demonstrated as victim, persecutor or rescuing behaviour.
It is important to step back. Take some time out.
The art of assertive communication is becoming an extremely important aspect to relationships. Whether they are intimate, family, friends or business relationships the need is there.
Listening in Relationships
 2000 Onwards Jan-Marie Brooke
When we hear what we want to hear - We tend to get into Blame.
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When it comes to the human body, the heart charka influences our ability to love unconditionally. When past trauma has affected our lives and we have been unable to process the feelings associated to old wounds, our Heart Charkas shut down.

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Angela Miller wrote about the enabler: ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
Medication can help many individuals who suffer from mental and developmental disabilities from acting in aggressive or bizarre ways. Even so,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], irrational thinking will continue for many people with disabilities. Medications will not address their need to function in social situations, which contributes to the losses that they experience in their relationships. Many become so absorbed by their irrational thoughts that they fail to recognize how their behavior hurts others. This hurt can be subtle in nature and consist of selfishness, disrespect, and dishonesty. The person with the psychiatric problem may demonstrate the need to have others support him, but he does not reciprocate supportive behavior. With irrational thoughts guiding his feelings and behavior, the person with a psychiatric problem will not take the initiative to notice the redeeming qualities of another person and show love. As we saw in the example involving Raquel, a family setting may involve factors that contribute to or reinforce a person’s irrational thought processes.
Why does enabling cause so much hurt in a relationship? What is the harm with trying to keep the peace? Part of this was answered in the previous example. The power afforded to the codependent person in a relationship reinforces his need for control even if he uses inappropriate means to fulfill his need to be in control. A second and overlooked reason centers on the inconsistent messages and unclear expectations presented by someone who is codependent. These characteristics contribute to a relationship filled with irrational thoughts and behavior. This kind of relationship has no clear rules to right and wrong behavior. There are circumstances within a family’s composition that leads a parent to act in irrational ways. This, in turn, can contribute to the child’s irrational thought processes. Did you know that close to sixty percent of families were headed by a single parent in 1994? Did you also know that 75 percent of families with children had both parents working? These numbers demonstrate the various roles and challenges parents take on today. Did your parents take on job and social roles that took their attention away from you? Many parents are forced to work because of the costs to raise a family. In some families,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], both parents work in the pursuit of more material wealth. Each endeavor is admirable as long as the family is grounded in a morality that places importance on the relationships within the family unit. A child who experiences rejection from his parent due to these factors will make attempts to redirect the parent’s attention. If this fails, the child will find other means to meet his needs, many times acting in maladaptive ways to cope with the stress in his life. He may demonstrate addictive behavior, social withdrawal, or even violence.
Instead, you may be causing the shame, anger, and guilt in the other person in your relationship. You may be the source of the resentment or even the hate. If you are involved in an unhappy relationship, you may be acting and feeling in negative ways that are guided by your irrational thinking. If so, you would benefit from knowing the factors that contribute to your irrational thinking. There are three areas in which these factors may have surfaced during your life. They are your psychiatric or developmental stability, your childhood family setting, and your childhood school setting.
Children can act in horrific ways because of the irrational thoughts they develop from negative verbal messages, sexual and physical abuse, and moral relativism.
Negative Messages
The enabler thinks irrationally by believing he can maintain healthy relationships through manipulation and control. He believes he can do this by avoiding conflict and fostering dependency. Is it rational for someone to think that he can maintain a healthy relationship when he does not address problems and he lies to protect others from their responsibilities? The way a codependent person can continue to foster this dependency from others is by controlling situations and people around him. As a child,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you may have been reinforced to comply with actions and decisions of a parent instead of being afforded opportunities to challenge those actions that you found to be wrong. Can you see how these types of messages could foster the development of irrational thinking? The ongoing themes in a codependent home are to avoid conflicts and problems and to make excuses for destructive or hurtful behavior.
Scott is a seventeen-year-old boy who knew that he needed to be by his mother’s side in order to protect her from his father. His mother told him how much she loved him and needed him. Scott was a well-built boy who was popular in school. Many of the girls in his class liked him. He grew fond of one of the girls and asked her out on a date. Scott’s mother did not approve of him going out with the girl. She went to his father and stated that he needed to do something about his boy who wanted to have sex with girls. Scott and his father got into a physical confrontation, resulting in Scott having to go to the hospital to get a cast put on his broken arm. Scott could not understand why his mother lied when the doctor asked how his arm was broken. Scott and his mother’s relationship improved once he stopped dating.
How did your experiences with a parent contribute to your way of thinking today? Some people receive many negative messages throughout their childhood. Those who received negative messages as children develop irrational thought processes that carry over into their adult life. Edmund J. Bourne,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Ph.D. wrote about the childhood origins of anxiety disorders in his book, The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook. He postulated that children who grow up with critical parents who are perfectionists will experience self-doubt about whether they are “good enough” or are “sufficiently worthy.” He reported that these children grow up feeling insecure and become dependent on safety. Many of these children grow up to become perfectionists later in life. Are you driving yourself or another person to be perfect in your relationship? The high expectation of perfection is irrational for anyone in a relationship. Can you be perfect? You live in a world that reinforces high standards and achievement. Can your relationship work with this same philosophy? The perfectionist con-tributes to the hurt in a relationship through critical statements and blame. A person’s critical behaviors represent another subtle kind of hurt in a relationship, which can go unrecognized by the criticizer.
Psychiatric illnesses can occur as a result of trauma. Have you ever suffered a traumatic event in your life? People who suffer traumatic life events such as abuse, disaster, abduction,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or the ravages of war can also adopt irrational thought processes due to the trauma they experience. This also includes individuals who witness horrific acts such as murder and abuse. Many people who experience trauma also suffer from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. Many times they avoid activities, people, and places in their environment that remind them of their trauma. They are consumed with thoughts that the traumatic event will occur again. Their irrational thoughts cause strain on their relationships, many times causing the severance of those relationships. They often lose the ability to gauge who they can or cannot trust. They may either demand too much control of the other person in a relationship or become too passive. This causes them to behave in unpredictable ways in relationships. Many times, children who suffer trauma also have a caretaker who acts in ways that further confuse them and reinforce irrational thoughts and fears.
Did you know that your thinking will influence how you feel and behave? Your thoughts are the guiding force behind your total social presentation. When you think rationally, you will experience positive feelings and demonstrate positive behavior. You will be more apt to act responsibly because you will see the situation much more clearly and feel more positive that you are doing the right thing for the other person. When you look at your relationship in a rational way, you take the time to assess how you are positively or negatively impacting the other person. You will see the unique qualities of the other person in your relationship. You will value the person’s thoughts and feelings and allow this person to demonstrate his or her talents. You will not place conditions on your love, and you will engage in an open and honest dialogue.
Sometimes is never quite enough
If you’re flawless, then you’ll win my love
Don’t forget to win first place
Don’t forget to keep that smile on your face
Be a good boy
Try a little harder
You’ve got to measure up
And make me prouder
How long before you screw it up
How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up
With everything I do for you
The least you can do is keep quiet
Be a good girl
You’ve gotta try a little harder
That simply wasn’t good enough
To make us proud
I’ll live through you
I’ll make you what I never was
If you’re the best, then maybe so am I
Compared to him compared to her
I’m doing this for your own damn good
You’ll make up for what I blew
What’s the problem... why are you crying
Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn’t fast enough
To make us happy
We’ll love you just the way you are if you’re perfect
You may be wondering what types of irrational thoughts can prevent a person suffering a mental or developmental disorder from gaining insight into the hurt that he may cause another person. Major depression is a very prevalent psychiatric illness in society and will serve as a good example. Do you know what thoughts, feelings, and actions are associated with this disorder? The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV) is the manual used to classify mental and developmental disorders. The DSM-IV categorizes the thoughts of a depressed person as irrational. A depressed person thinks that there is no way to solve his problems or to change his life circumstances. This is why a depressed person may have recurrent thoughts of death and suicide. His thoughts produce feelings of sadness, emptiness, fearfulness, worthlessness, and guilt. Some of the behaviors associated with depression include insomnia, diminished interest or pleasure in almost all activities, significant weight loss, and loss of energy each day. A person who possesses these thoughts, feelings, and behaviors will hurt other people in his relationships,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], though many times he will not recognize that he is doing so. This person will not communicate his problem with another person in a rational manner, nor will he look for ways to resolve his conflicts. This causes the other peo-ple in his relationships to also feel overwhelmed, helpless, and frustrated.
You have an internal monologue that runs through your day. Thoughts that are self-defeating or that provide unrealistic expectations for you are irrational thoughts. Using words like always, have to, and never can make thoughts irrational and expectations unrealistic. Thoughts that produce second-guessing messages such as “would have,” “should have,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],” and “could have” are irrational. By focusing your energy on thoughts that will not resolve problems or engage others in the here-and-now, you can send subtle, hurtful messages to another person. Thoughts that are uplifting and provide you with real solutions to everyday problems are rational thoughts. Rational thoughts will not always provide you with a warm, fuzzy feeling, but they will allow you to see the possibilities to get through the challenges of life. Rational thoughts help you to keep your perspective and priorities grounded in the truth. When you begin to feel that your life is awful and there is no hope, you are thinking irrationally.
Brendan Smith was sixteen years old when she killed two people and injured nine. She had decided to shoot a 22-caliber rifle across the street from her house onto the entrance of Grover Cleveland Elementary School in San Diego, California, on January 29, 1979. She discussed how her violence grew out of an abusive home. She claimed that her father beat and sexually abused her for years. She stated, “I had to share my dad’s bed 'til I was fourteen years old.” She went on to say that her father bought her a gun for Christmas when she asked for a radio. Brendan was the original school rampager.
Can you relate to Susan or Susan’s parents in this example? If you have watched the news and special reports on television, you have been informed that this example has occurred among many teenagers. Many boys and girls believe they are keeping their virginity by engaging in oral sex. They perceive the social custom to be that oral sex is not sex. Where have you heard this before? This is an another example of moral relativism. The conclusion made by Susan was not based on rational thought processes. If Susan understood that her actions were in direct opposition to an absolute moral code that defines acts of love and intimacy, she would make more rational choices. If her parents developed clear behavioral expectations based upon specific virtues, she would be faced with the responsibility of making a decision either to respect her parents’ view on morality or not. This is not to say that Susan would not have engaged in a sexual relationship. Her choice needed to be based upon her knowing that this behavior had consequences and was not endorsed by her parents or the other systems of care in her life. She and her boyfriend would need to learn what virtues should guide their decisions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and develop behavior expectations based upon these virtues. These expectations would need to align with their parents’ expectations in these same areas. Her thought that oral sex was not sex was easily adopted, since she did not have an absolute morality to challenge this view. As you see, irrational thoughts can be used to justify behavior and avoid responsibility. The person who thinks in morally relative terms would experience difficulties recognizing the hurt that he would cause another person.
Mental Illness and Irrationality
Many of the other psychiatric and developmental problems outlined in the DSM-IV involve irrational thoughts. People with schizophrenia experience delusions, or false beliefs. These beliefs, which are the results of their auditory and visual hallucinations, can range from paranoid thoughts that people are attempting to harm them to beliefs that they have special powers and abilities not based in reality. Some adults and children with hyperactivity or mania think that their activities should provide constant stimulation and pleasure. They place their priorities on people, places, and events that are stimulating to them, which causes them to become disorganized and lose focus. People with various addictions obsessively think about their addicting activity. Many people with personality disorders do not think that others value or love them. They spend much of their time finding ways to make their irrational thoughts become self-fulfilling prophecies. Through their irrational belief that they are not valued or loved, they treat others poorly and set expectations that cannot be met for the other people in their relationships. The antisocial person believes that he should be able to satisfy his needs and wants regardless of the social norms and laws of society.
By Jay Krunszyinsky
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The “Feel-Good” Morality
Televisions, stereos, computers, video games,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and friends are means by which children develop their sense of right and wrong in many families. Do you think children should develop their own sense of morality from means outside of their parents? In the hustle and bustle of life, a parent might be more apt to allow his child to turn to one of these mediums for extended periods of time. This does not allow a child to develop clear expectations of what constitutes right and wrong behavior. This also leaves the child to determine right and wrong by the social customs to which he is exposed. Have you ever heard the term moral relativism? Moral relativism means that moral standards are grounded only in social custom. Morals are defined as good acts. Do you know how you can get a good act to remain good if the social custom is hurtful? Don’t worry, I do not know the answer either. The terms moral and relativism are contradictory. The prevailing thought or custom of society needs to contain a safeguard to prevent immorality. How will you keep your behavior in check if you do not adopt a morality that contains absolute rights and wrongs? Today, more and more children are adopting their parents’ “feel good” morality, which often causes them to inflict hurt toward others. If more people declare a behavior an acceptable social custom, the behavior will become morally acceptable according to a relative moral view. A person’s view on a social custom can be influenced by music, television, movies, literature, and societal trends. If these views are not held to a standard that is absolute in regards to right and wrong behavior,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the person can begin to lose his ability to see the line between good and bad. Have you ever searched for a good feeling through sex, drugs, material possessions, or open expressions of anger or rage? Are your thoughts rational when you think that you can maintain a healthy relationship while pursuing only those things that make you feel good? What is right or wrong without having an absolute morality? You may question how this absolute standard is set. This will be defined and explained in more detail in the next chapter.
When not in check,
I will:
Pick up your shoes
Carry your pack
Pay your traffic ticket
Lie to your boss
Do your homework
Remove rocks from your path
And strip you of the joy
Of saying,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “I did it myself!”
Susan is a seventeen-year-old growing up in a family that does not teach morality. Susan and her friends have classroom discussions with teachers and counselors saying that sexual activity is appropriate if both people are consenting and safe sex is practiced. Through the media and discussions with other students, Susan concludes that the act of oral sex is not considered sexual due to this act not involving penetration. Susan really loves her boyfriend and decides this is a way to remain a virgin and show her boyfriend she loves him.
Burt and Cynthia have been married for twenty years and have four children: Burt Jr., age seventeen; Judy, age fourteen; Jonathan, age nine; and Becky, age four. Burt and Cynthia have experienced some marital problems recently. Cynthia’s mother, Marge, has baby-sat the younger children and has been pointing out to the children how their father has not been spending enough time with them. Marge has also pointed this out to Cynthia and has told Cynthia that Burt is just like her father. Burt Jr. cannot stand his maternal grandmother and tells his father the bad things she is telling the other children. Burt Sr. takes out his frustration on the three younger children and tells them that they are rotten kids and that they are never satisfied. He threatens that someday he will leave them with their mother to survive on their own with no help from him. Burt and Cynthia argue frequently in front of the children and threaten to leave one another.
On October 1, 1997, high school student Luke Woodham opened fire on several students in Pearl High School in Pearl, Washington. He killed two of the students and wounded seven. He began his day by slitting his mother’s throat before he headed to school in her car with a rifle tucked underneath a trench coat. Luke talked to one of the students he wounded and apologized, claiming he was not shooting at anyone in particular. Police Chief Bill Slade said Luke had written a detailed note, saying he felt he’d been wronged and that he killed because people like him are mistreated every day. During his 1998 trial for killing his mother, Luke stated he killed his mother because “she always never loved me.” He went on to state that his mother blamed him for her divorce and problems with his brother. He also stated that his mother spent much time away from home. Luke wrote about how he and an accomplice beat his dog, Sparkle, then set it on fire and threw it in a pond. He wrote, “I hit her so hard I knocked the fur off her neck. It was true beauty.”
The hurt in families is being broadcast in the media more and more. The media is also endorsing acts of abuse. Do you know that there are people in academia who endorse pedophilia? In the April 22, 2002, edition of U.S. News & World Report, John Leo wrote an article entitled, “Apologists for pedophilia.” Larry Constantine, a Massachusetts family therapist and sex book writer, stated that children “have the right to express themselves sexually, which means they may or may not have contact with people older than themselves.” Wardell Pomeroy, coauthor of the original Kinsey reports, stated that incest “can be sometimes beneficial.” Minnesota sociologists included pedophile sex with those “intimate relations that are important and precious.” There are propedophilia rationalizations still being made today. Some of these rationalizations include the following statements: “Children are sexual beings with the right to pick their partners.” “The quality of relationships, not age, determines the value of sex.” “Most pedophiles are gentle and harmless.” “The damage of pedophilia comes mostly from the shocked horror communicated by parents, not the sex itself.” A new controversial book called Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex by author Judith Levine, contains a foreword by former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders. One report said that this book plays down the dangers of pedophilia and that Levine thinks this is a good time to endorse “some priest-boy sex.” The report discussed how the “disorder of the intellectual world” trickles into the popular culture, including the school system. Tom O’Carrol has been asked to address the international sex convention in Paris regarding the private rights of pedophiles and their children partners. His pedophile book is on a course list at Cambridge University. If more people in society find this to be acceptable behavior, pedophilia will be a morally acceptable behavior. Does this sound like rational thinking to you?
The abuse that children suffer within their families also contributes to their irrational thinking. Do you see how the thoughts and actions of parents can contribute to their children’s adopting the same thoughts and behavior patterns? More than three children die each day as a result of child abuse in the home. In 1998, approximately 1100 children died of abuse and neglect. Most of the children who die are under the age of 5; 38 percent of the children are under the age of 1. This is the leading cause of death for infants and young children. This includes falls, choking on food, suffocation, drowning, residential fires, and motor vehicle accidents. Almost one-half of all substantiated cases of neglect and abuse in a family are associated with a parent’s alcohol or drug abuse. As mentioned previously, people with addictions are grounded in irrational thoughts.
Author's Bio:
Are you a rational or irrational thinker? You may want to believe you are a rational thinker, but you find that you are the eternal pessimist, able to see only the half-empty glass in many situations you face. You are a rational thinker if you turn negative situations into positive ones. You can face unpleasantant situations and not become overwhelmed. You use your unique talents to resolve problems and view the brighter side of your life. If you are an irrational thinker, you will either overreact to problems or will not react at all. You will experience intense emotion-al pain when challenged to take responsibility for your actions or to acknowledge how your action may negatively impact another person. You become easily overwhelmed by the pace of work, family, and community responsibilities. You see negative qualities in the other person in your relationship and react in subtle ways to hurt him or her.
Did you know that one out of every three people suffers from a mental illness? Do you struggle with panic attacks, social fears, emptiness, paranoid thoughts, or extreme highs and lows? As a child, did you grow up with anxiety, attention problems, depression, social interaction problems, developmental problems, extreme energy, or involuntary vocal or motor tics? Did you find yourself pushing others away when you really wanted them to get close to you? The important factor to remember is that many of these disorders cause the person to think irrationally and to hurt others in his relationships. Many times, people with psychiatric and developmental problems do not intend to hurt, nor do they recognize the hurt they cause.
Alanis Morissette’s song, “Perfect,” depicts the irrational thoughts of perfectionists.
Does this happen in real life? How irrational do you think some children will become when exposed to negative messages from parents?
Raquel was a five-year-old girl who lived with her maternal grandmother. Raquel had been brutally beaten and raped by her mother’s boyfriend when she was four years old. Raquel was receiving family counseling to help her and her grandmother work through this traumatic situation. The family counselor discovered how much Raquel loved one of the cups in the kitchen cabinet. It was an old cup that had the face of Santa Claus on it. The grandmother was outraged at the suggestion that Raquel be given milk in this cup before bedtime. This would mean more work for her and was out of the question. The grandmother also shared her displeasure with the counselor’s suggestion that Raquel be read a story each night before bed. The grandmother stated that she needed her time each night and did not have the time for this.
Do you possess codependent traits? Codependent personalities evolve from attempts to keep some type of order in a hurtful relationship. The term codependency refers to a relationship where one or both parties enable the other to act in certain maladaptive ways. Many times, the act of enabling satisfies a need for the codependent person because his or her actions foster a dependency from the other person or persons in the relationship. Did your family have an alcoholic or drug-dependent parent? To enable the parent with the addiction, the codependent parent makes excuses and lies for the addict, which enables the addiction to continue. Codependency is reinforced by a person’s need to be needed.
Other negative messages may consist of the child not feeling loved and respected. Can you remember the times you were made to feel hated or disrespected by a parent? Did a parent consistently lie to you? Did your parent have a favorite child? Were you blamed for your parents’ problems in their marriage? Did you think you were the cause of a parent’s hate or disrespect toward you?
Codependency and the Enabler
When you were a child, did you grow up in a home where your parents or caretakers took little to no responsibility for their problems or behaviors? Did you witness a parent support the behavior of the other regardless of how destructive it was? A parent providing this support was an enabler. A parent bases his or her enabling on manipulation and dishonesty that hurts others in subtle ways. Children are robbed of their ability to see a relation-ship clearly due to the inconsistent messages of the enabling parent. Children are also reinforced for depending heavily on their codependent parent, which robs them of their own development in decision-making.
On September 2, 1996, fourteen-year-old Barry Loukaitis broke into algebra class at the Frontier Junior High School in Moses Lake, Washington, with a high-powered rifle and shot three students and their teacher. Two of the students and the teacher died. Students recalled that Barry shot one of the students with whom he was always having a conflict. Barry’s mother suspected that one of the songs that Barry listened to had driven him to commit the crime. The father suggested that the family had three generations’ worth of depressive illnesses in the family. Barry’s mother told the jury that she treated her son as a “confidant” and told him everything. She went on to say that this included plans to kill herself in front of her ex-husband and his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, 1996. He had been an honor student at school.
Trauma
Can you relate to Scott? Over time, children develop a dependency on their codependent parent to help them through their life. Their codependent parent’s need to be needed makes his relationship dysfunctional and filled with hurt. In many instances, hurt can result from the codependent parent’s attempts to keep the peace in the family. Over time, the only way a code-pendent parent can accomplish this is by being manipulative and controlling of relationships. He often controls these relationships by provoking the abusive parent to carry out undeserved punitive action to further promote the child’s dependency on the codependent parent.
If you believed your parents’ negative messages as a child, you grew up with irrational thoughts that have influenced your thought processes. Due to your irrational beliefs, your actions toward someone in a present relationship may not be based on reality. Do you find yourself overreacting to comments made by a person in your relationship? Do you automatically interpret someone’s critical feedback as an expression of hate or rejection? How would you respond to someone you thought hated you or was rejecting you? In these instances, many people either avoid the problem or become very aggressive. In either case, the per-son’s behavior resulting from his irrational beliefs from the past would contribute to his hurtful acts in a present relationship. The problem is that he will not always recognize his actions as hurtful. Many people who receive negative messages as children enter relationships as adults sending similar messages.
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When it comes to the human body, the heart charka influences our ability to love unconditionally. When past trauma has affected our lives and we have been unable to process the feelings associated to old wounds, our Heart Charkas shut down.